What’s good for the goose…

Via the Weekly Standard, Senator Charles Grassley (R-IA) decided to to do a little public tongue in cheek humor (gallows humor?) and suggested that the executives at the welfare whore insurance company AIG commit seppuku (hari kari to the plebes…or was he a Cubs announcer?) to assuage their lost honor.


And because it’s such a great idea, let’s apply that same principle to the political whores who are pigging out at the public trough and making a total embarrassment of themselves.  I mean it’s all well and good that congresscritters never seem to think that the laws they stick the rest of us with should apply to them.  But we’re talking honor here!  The national shame of having these people call themselves Americans, much less the Honorable Leaders* thereof.

Of course seppuku is a uniquely Japanese tradition.  It also takes a whole lot more commitment to the act than most of the self serving narcissists in congress (like Grassley) could be expected to conjure up.  It’s not just killing yourself.  It’s opening your abdomen up and spilling your innards upon the ground.  Death is slow and to be completely successful, you can’t make any noise.  That’s why in later years a second was allowed to finish off the seppukuee before he started bellyaching.  But the disemboweling had to occur first.  And who precisely is going to clean up that mess afterward, anyway?

I think all of the classical methods of restoring honor should be available to Congress.  Chris Dodd seems like a classy guy.  He’s got that hair thing going for him…and the summer cottage in Ireland.  I think the Roman way would be appropo.  Warm bath, wine, razor blade.  Rangel?  A veteran.  Military tradition should prevail.  Locked room, bottle of brandy, pistol.  Barny Frank?  Into what the Romans called the “Greek Preference”.  Hemlock, for sure.

This could start a tradition that could seriously raise Congress’ pathetic public opinion polls.  Somebody posted an article a few weeks back (that I can’t find now) that went that if members of Congress were told (convincingly I presume, like the horse head in the bed scene) that if the economy wasn’t back to George Bush levels (Dow > 14,000; unemployment ~5%) by the end of the year, it was curtains…that there wouldn’t be a federal tax or a welfare recipient within a month.  They would all be pro-growth, pro-business, drill baby drill conservatives.

Amazing what a touch of accountability can do.

* What comedian came up with the idea of addressing Congresscritters as “The Right Honorable…”?


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