Archive for May, 2012|Monthly archive page

Julia’s real life under Obamanomics?

Julia of course is the fictitious woman (apparently like all the women in his life) portrayed in a recent Obama campaign ad who’s fictitious life is fictitiously made complete through the magic of Obamanomics and the ever benevolent nanny state.

Now I’ve been reading “The Modern Survival Manual: Surviving the Economic Collapse” [Fernando Ferfal Aguirre, 2009].

So based on that, let me add another version of Julia’s Life as a result of Obamanomics.

  • Age 3:  The financial house of cards built by a century of Progressivism and political whoring capped by eight years of Obama’s $Trillion annual deficits collapses.  Hyperinflation hits big time and Treasury notes with Timmy the TurboTax Cheat’s signature are burned for fuel.  Otherwise, they have little value except as bedding, insulation and toilet paper.  Julia’s father looses his job.  The government puts her family on the dole, and through the marvels of modern technology, transfer $Millions of Obamadollars to their debit card without them having to risk traveling the streets where there are no longer any police.  Not that there is any food in the stores anyway.  From the age of 3 to 4, Julia gains almost no weight due to malnutrition.
  • Age 7:  Thugs of the local Democratic party boss that rules Julia’s neighborhood  press her sister into the prostitution business as payment for the family’s taxes.  They leave Julia because she is too thin to have any value.
  • Age 13:  An illiterate Julia gets a job in the Evergreen Obama Recycling Service.  Evergreen’s business is dismantling old abandoned buildings so the materials can be used to build a <del>temple</del> monument to Our Great Leader.  Julia chips mortar off of old bricks for the Glorious Cause.
  • Age 14:  Julia gets to vote in her first election since the Dear Leader mandated voting for every one 14 and older.  In order to have fair elections and compliance with all applicable laws, Julia tells the Democratic election judge at the table which party she wants to vote for and the election official fills out the ballot.  There is of course, only one option.
  • Age 14:  Julia is pregnant after the latest attack on the street.  The Death Panel at the local hospital decides a baby would interfere with Julia’s productivity and orders the baby aborted, giving the excuse that she shouldn’t be punished with a child.
  • Age 17:  Julia betrays a confidant to the local Democratic Party boss.  She is rewarded with an assignment to a university.  The fact that she is illiterate is irrelevant.  The classes consist of sitting in auditoriums and having Party Knowledge read at her.  But it puts her on a career track in the Party.
  • Age 22:  Julia graduates with a degree in Democratic Party Philosophy, is given one pair of government issued gloves*, and gets a job performing cavity searches for the TSA on a city street corner.
  • Age 25:  Julia gets to participate in a “jury” of an accused Republican.  Her days cleaning bricks served her well when it came time to hurl stones at the dog…Mmmmmm…succulent dog meat.  Like Dear Leader ate.
  • Age 32:  Ten years of spreading cheeks has induced carpal tunnel syndrome, which the local Death Panel has removed from the list of treatable conditions.  Julia retires with a union pension and disability to take up knitting, since in good Party tradition, it was a false claim.
  • Age 35:  Julia dies of complications from an abscess tooth.  The local Death Panel now refuses all care to the disabled in order to save money.

* Remember that the gloves are only for protecting the TSA personnel.   It’s been ordained that the public has no expectation to sanitary violation when they step out their door.

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